Tag: Food for thought

It’s Just Soda!

Red Bull and Monster drinks are just a ploy to make soda an acceptable breakfast beverage.  There I said it!  I know you’re response will be, “Big Beverage already got us hooked on coffee, tea and delicious orange juice…why would they need to peddle their fizzy wares pre-lunchtime” (I’m paraphrasing).      

​Simple!  Think market share (sorry for raising my voice earlier).  All across the board, it makes sense to start moneymaking campaigns early.  You’ve seen it with Christmas and how it starts earlier and earlier.  Also, Black Friday – I think they moved it up to June this year.  Ultimately, no matter how diaphanous or subtle the efforts of Corporate America are, we are still subject to them.  Before long, we’ll be chomping on McDonald’s fries alongside our eggs or pancakes, because they’re basically hash brown’s idiot cousin…right?  

The motivation is that the profit margins are greater when lunch and dinner are being served; after all, no matter how you dress it up, we all know a couple of eggs are pretty cheap and plenty filling.  So next time you’re washing that bacon, egg and cheese down with an icy Mango Mania Monster drink (12oz because I’m no quitter, nor do I fear the Reaper), just remember that they’re two for five at 7-eleven this week!

God Believes in Irony

Indigenous People’s Day seems to have turned a corner.  What once was a regionally specific holiday has now become its own thing.  Thanks to this root canal of a year we’re having, people have developed a now-or-never mentality.  It seems that when enough terrible things happen in a short span of time, people reach a sort-of societal Terminal Velocity where fear – fear of discomfort or change or pushback – is marginalized: I call this the “IDGAF stage”.  Consequently, those things that used to cause a person to quietly and hopelessly dissent now evoke outcry and action.  Along with social justice reform outcries, there was a clamor for historical corrections as statues toppled because they were considered symbols of oppression and misinformation.  That’s where Indigenous People’s Day comes in.  

Originally adopted to celebrate Native American peoples, I.P.D. is evolving to embody the struggle of all those indigenous people killed, displaced and/or oppressed worldwide – usually without even a footnote in the history books.  Ironically, the holiday has taken hold because of a historical oppressor: Christopher Columbus.  Hidden among History’s many misrepresentations was Christopher Columbus.  A man now considered more of a buccaneer than a benevolent discoverer. Chris enslaved, dominated and killed up-and-down the New World.  Amid this groin pull of a year, the new historical perspective of Columbus show him to be torturous, commodifying and violent, which have revised his legacy from hero to a more pedestrian role for the time: brutal European colonizer.  All of this, ironically, worked to the benefit of Indigenous People’s Day, which now found itself nestled in a prime National Holiday timeslot!  

Once again, Timing proves itself vital in life. All it took was a perfectly terrible cocktail of disaster, disease and discontent to lead this country and the world into a serious – although I’m sure fleeting – interest in Justice both in the present and in the past. Perhaps, this raging hemorrhoid of a year had purpose after all or maybe everything will revert as soon as we can be sufficiently distracted once again.

Glazomaniac

​A Glazomaniac is someone that loves making lists.  I am a self-diagnosed Glazomaniac.  I make a list for the grocery store and then pop over to another list that gives me credit for a successful errand.  I have a list that is composed of “challenges”, which I monitor every day because I’m supposed to complete two a day, according to my Daily Requirement List.  I list things that I want and things that I need to get rid of.  I also list the outfits that I wore – so far, the value of which seems only helpful in recalling which pants got my headphones in them.

I have a list of the books I’ve read (I’m attempting to read 10,000 before I die…not completely sure why I set that goal).  I also have a list of books that I want to read.  I have a list of my writing projects and a list of goals for each project.  And, of course, I have a list that gives me “Writing Career” points every time I perform well in those other lists.

I once determined that I was losing entirely too much time in a day being efficient with my lists. Consequently, I resolved to start giving myself credit for checking and maintaining my portfolio of lists (that super list became known as the List Management List). Whew! That was a close call for my beloved lists, but problem was solved.

Madison, Hamilton and Betsy Ross

Now that some time has passed and the debate is digested(well, as digested as something both undercooked and over-spiced can be) we can officially declare political discourse dead. Wave goodbye to the romantic notions of debate: Lincoln/Douglas or Kennedy/Nixon. No more will rhetoric and language soar above the fight, highlighting vision and idealism. Now the fight is all there is. Now we fight over the facts that we want and the truth that suits us.

There’s nothing but Straw Men as far as I can see, all shouting at each other.  One hand pointing and accusing while the other hand is holding a torch threatening to “burn it all down!”  

Separation was sewn into our democracy by great minds like Madison and Hamilton in order to prevent abusive rule. The thought being that different agendas all coming together at the same time would create a stage for slow, thoughtful compromise. NOPE! Instead, it seems that that thread of Separation has frayed into Divisiveness. Two parties in such clear contention that neither can stand to hear the other side talk. Good ideas are stillborn in that kind of society.

Old Age and New Land Development

I’ve gotten older. The evidence wasn’t just the tiny inferno atop my cake this year. I realized I was older for different reasons. The first instance was during a conversation with my niece and nephew. On the bus, on the way to do some shopping, I kept telling them about what store or building used-to be there. They, of course, had no input or interest in local architecture and business trends through the decades; however, that fact did not dissuade my fascination. So, until I noticed my behavior, I was gleefully carrying on this one-sided conversation. Lightbulb…OLD!

​Second instance, was almost a badge of honor before I realized it was an indicator of my aging: a behavior I’ve labelled Food Triage.  In my late 20’s or early 30’s, I discovered the importance of seeking out all of the near-expiring food and creating some sort makeshift, CHOPPED-esque meal.  There was a strange sense of satisfaction when creating some sort of loose chicken, old vegetable and rando-cheese burrito.  It tasted mediocre at best, but I felt like a field surgeon making due with his supplies in order to patch-up an injured soldier.  Apparently, that tingle of satisfaction was just the gentle vibration of time passing.  Lightbulb…OLD!

Finally, and maybe the most damning evidence, is my newly found interest in the potential warmth of jackets and coats. I’m ALWAYS hot. And yet, I now find myself entrenched in the outerwear department asking myself and others, “how warm is this rancher jacket… really? Would a real Sherpa sign-off on this lining?” Also, at some point, I’ve become able to expertly rub my fingers against the inside of any outerwear and instinctually sense how it will stand up to cold weather (apparently, one of my new older person super powers). Moreover, I’m now not only concerned about my warmth, but also the warmth of others. An interest that has led my normally anti-social self to ask strangers about their coats. Lightbulb…I am OLD!

Suction Cup Technology

Have you noticed that there has been no advancement in the area of Suction Cup Technology? I thought by now we’d be regularly climbing in through our office windows, but, no, instead our bath pillows are still swinging loose and lazy. I think this little failure is a microcosm of the less than spirited scientific community. Honestly, why aren’t our scientists fixing problems and perfecting innovations. It seems that all too often our creators only shoot for the bigger achievements and, ultimately, fail at achieving them. So you’re saying none of you can focus on less glamorous problems? Somewhere along the line, it was decided that suction cups are just as good as they’re going to get and there was no point in wasting our “best minds” on it. Well I would remind those best minds that our cars still don’t fly (Michael J. Fox lied!) and the common cold still hangs out where it pleases. “Are those big enough problems to tackle,” I ask as my relaxing bath turns into a shoulder-juke session sans the comfort a static bath pillow would provide.

Has the luster of true achievement gotten cloudy? Is curing problems, ailments and puzzles less important than the profit attached to chronic treatment? The pressure of monetary concerns is the driving force now, not that ever-satisfying moment when one runs a line through an item on his/her list. I want to laugh about flat feet because it was solved by the HyperBoot or cast aspersions on that pop-up thunderstorm because of the Weather Protect Personal Force Field system. And most importantly, I want to rest easy knowing that the only concern I’ll have during a bath is that perhaps I’ll become too relaxed.