Tag: Fun

Lunch Logistics

There is no more secure position in an office then the Lunch Logistical Engineer. Whether it be Civil Service or the Private sector, no one dare challenge the person that gets lunch organized.

​At first glance, it seems trivial or even menial, but it is a seat of power.  The Food Facilitator can cross every battle line, infiltrate every cliché.  Often times, with just the phrase, “Gettin’ Lunch?” he or she can interrupt important conversations or even meetings.  Not since Civis Romanus Sum (I am a Roman citizen) has a phrase afforded such safety and protection to a group of people.  The Food Facilitator will fearlessly stick his or her head into occupied conference rooms, turning indignant stares into familial smirks, almost instantaneously.  

This unchecked power should be recalled, cancelled and scratched out from the annals of work history! And, ultimately, the office hierarchy must be reordered. The chain of command must remain sacrosanct. No longer can it be held cheaply like a lunch special, but raised high like an entrée. These delicatessen despots must have their authority striped and desktops wiped clean of all their trifolded pamphlets of propaganda. Confiscated, are their endless supplies of condiments and spare plastic bags. Descend back to the station you began, before you reached far beyond your abilities and importance! And nexttime, get my order right!

When Humility Fails

I set-out to consider the state of the Earth as I perceived it. What I wound up doing was thinking about the distress the planet must undoubtedly be in; ultimately, leading to a session of mind-bashing directed towards those that refuse and/or refute Climate Change. Firstly, regard that I don’t pretend to know the scientific data; I solely rely on the reports of scientists as well as some sort of internal, connecting thread of humanity that hazily alerts me that something is wrong. That is hardly proof of the theory of Climate Change and yet I always wind-up disparaging the other side. And since I am entirely too lazy to deep dive into the science and breakdown the numbers and long scientific words, I figured I’d make an attempt at empathy.

After a good 20 minutes of consideration – mixed with the occasional Sudoku forays… I’m a multi-tasker – I came to a conclusion that was both empathic and sympathetic. Perhaps, they have just been failed by humility! Humbleness is almost never wrong. It is immediately an admirable condition based solely on its opposition to arrogance, while also acting as a connection to your fellow person, freeing oneself from the belief of supremacy. Humility helps people join together over our flaws, while giving our fragile egos a rest. Of course, humans can ruin anything…even humility. So, I wondered if Humility in practice could eventually lead you to a sense of comforting helplessness. It’s kind of how if you’ve tripped or slipped and fell in front of a bunch of people (your day is coming if this has yet to happen to you) and instead of getting up right away you just sit there on the basement floor of your embarrassment. Perhaps, those deniers just see the world and the universe beyond their control. How could our actions impact the heavens and the pulse of a planet? Of course, there are political considerations, components of religiosity and a myriad of other factors tethered to this founding concept, but it remains both simple and digestible just like humankind’s best truisms. I cannot disprove this theory either, but I can present a new perspective.

What if our galaxy constituted a living God? Moreover, what if the Sun was its heart and the rest of the planets its organs? And everything else in the galaxy made-up all the many processes, and items within a living form. Perhaps, the Earth could be the brain or some other vital component. If this thought experiment were somehow true, what would one person on Earth be? I would argue that each person is a cell. At that point, if all these premises can be imagined, I would ask how important is a cell? Sure, a cell can die off to no consequence, but it can also choose itself over the organism. The result of that decision would be cancer. And in a world where even humility can fail, I would rather err on the side of caution.