Tag: Humor

Red Bull and Monster drinks are just a ploy to make soda an acceptable breakfast beverage.  There I said it!  I know you’re response will be, “Big Beverage already got us hooked on coffee, tea and delicious orange juice…why would they need to peddle their fizzy wares pre-lunchtime” (I’m paraphrasing).      

​Simple!  Think market share (sorry for raising my voice earlier).  All across the board, it makes sense to start moneymaking campaigns early.  You’ve seen it with Christmas and how it starts earlier and earlier.  Also, Black Friday – I think they moved it up to June this year.  Ultimately, no matter how diaphanous or subtle the efforts of Corporate America are, we are still subject to them.  Before long, we’ll be chomping on McDonald’s fries alongside our eggs or pancakes, because they’re basically hash brown’s idiot cousin…right?  

The motivation is that the profit margins are greater when lunch and dinner are being served; after all, no matter how you dress it up, we all know a couple of eggs are pretty cheap and plenty filling.  So next time you’re washing that bacon, egg and cheese down with an icy Mango Mania Monster drink (12oz because I’m no quitter, nor do I fear the Reaper), just remember that they’re two for five at 7-eleven this week!